And here I am, after a full year away from this space.
A lot happened in my life in the meantime, changes in my lifestyle, changes in my relationship with my partner, changes in my career choices and changes in who I am and I decide to show up every day of my life.
Most part of the past year I lived a single mom life, made of guilty feelings for separating my daughter from her father, for not been able to give her the financial security we had before, for the inability to make her understand why she cannot see her father whenever she wants and why mommy spent most of her time crying and being sad.
But that mental attitude is long gone.
One day I just decided I was not going to treat myself to guilt anymore.
I decided I was doing all I could for the love of my life and I had to change my mental attitude to the entire situation, stopping the pity parties and start fighting back against that mind that for so long kept me under water.
I enrolled to become an Health Coach, I started studying to become a Personal Trainer and soon I will be joining University to study psychology.
I made a promise to myself, that I was not going to let my insecurities, lack of confidence and fear of being rejected, dictate my life and actions anymore and I was going to pick joy and happiness not matter what again: so here I am, fulfilling that choice and carrying it on, trying to build a business in the meantime, while I still work as a chef and I spend most of my time with my gorgeous little princess.
Last year was a nightmare and a blessing in disguise at the same time. For so long I felt like I was not living my identity, as the person who was living my life was someone that took my place and I was just hiding under my skin, pretending I wasn’t there, with such a fear of failing and be rejected that I was going on as walking on a glass floor ready to break. I had the lowest moment in life and thank goodness it happened, because it opened my eyes to so much more and it made me understand which mission I envision for myself on this Earth.
If you are interested you could read more about it on my ABOUT ME page.
One of the goals of this year is to reach as many people as I can and one of the tools will be this little space of mine. I have big projects for my blog, but first I have to start posting again and be consistent about it, which will be a challenge, since consistency is not a skill of mine, but something I am planning to build along the way.
My coming back happens with a sweet recipe, which is actually sugar free. The reason behind the absence of sugar is the fact that, even though I am a pastry chef, I don’t have a sweet tooth at all, so the sweetness of the ripe bananas are more than enough to satisfy my taste buds. Another reason is that I consume this banana bread only the mornings I train at the gym, as a pre-workout, with some peanut butter and jam, which contribute to give it extra sweetness. The first time I backed this banana bread I actually forgot to add the sugar, which was meant to be in it, but I loved so much the result that I kept going. I have been baking it for months now. I usually freeze it and defrost only the amount I need for my four days of training. I will then toast it and consume it at 7am before dropping my pumpkin at the nursery and going to train at the gym.
Feel free to add sugar if you prefer it sweeter, 50 grams was the amount originally called for in the recipe.
At the same time feel free to swap the quark with cream cheese or yogurt, it doesn’t make any difference, I usually add what I have on hand.
- 4 small/medium ripe meshed bananas
- 4 eggs
- 60 g quark
- 3 cups plain flour
- 2 tsp baking soda
- 2 tsp white wine vinegar
- 2 tsp baking powder
- a pinch of salt
- Turn on your oven to 180° Celsius and grease two small loaf tins (mine are 6 inches x 4 inches x 3.5 inches deep - 15.2 x 10.2 x 12.7 cm).
- In a bowl mix bananas, quark, eggs and vinegar.
- In another bowl mix the dry ingredients and add them to your wet ingredients mixing them all thoroughly.
- Divide the mix between the tins and cover them with tin foil.
- Bake the banana cakes for around 20 minutes or until they don't start producing delicious baked smell, then remove the foil and bake for another 10 minutes.
- Let it cool slightly before taking them out of the tin.
- At the moment I have a gas oven that works properly only I set it to gas mark 8/9. I still bake my cakes for 20 minutes with the tin foil and then for other 10 minutes, but it may work differently with your own oven and knowing exactly the temperature you are dealing with. I usually remove the foil when the bread is touching it and it is already set.